Wedding invitations: when to send them and what to write

Almost all the panic around invitations comes from the same mistake: people think about the sending date and not the ordering date. More time passes between the two than you would expect.

Here is the countdown that works:

• 12-6 months out — the save the date. Only needed if you marry in high season, in a holiday destination, or have guests who must book flights. It does not replace the invitation: it precedes it.
• 4-3 months out — the order. Time to bring us your wording and ideas. The round of drafts starts here.
• 3-2 months out — sending. Two months is the comfortable minimum, three if many guests travel. Below six weeks you put people in difficulty.
• 1 month out — the RSVP deadline. It goes on the invitation, and it is what lets you give final numbers to the venue. Without a written date, half the replies arrive the week before.

Why order three months ahead and not one: between the first draft and approval there are typically two or three rounds of corrections — a misspelled name, a time that changes, a grandmother to be added among those inviting. Then there is the physical proof: paper in your hands changes how you judge colour and text size, and choices do get revised. Only after that does the run get printed.

An invitation can be three lines or half a page, but these eight pieces of information have to be there. The first five are the ones whose absence generates phone calls.

1. Who is inviting. In the traditional formula the parents invite; in the modern one the couple does. Neither is correct in itself: the right one is the one that sounds like you. With large or blended families, two clear lines beat an elegant but ambiguous formula.
2. The couple's names, in full and spelled the way they spell them.
3. The full date, with the day of the week: Saturday 12 September 2026. The weekday prevents half the misunderstandings.
4. The ceremony time. One time only, the start.
5. The ceremony venue, with name and full address — not just "St John's Church", which in Rome is ambiguous.
6. The reception venue, with address. If it is far from the ceremony, it is worth adding the travel time.
7. RSVP with a date and a contact. "Please confirm by 10 August to Giulia 333…". The date is the part everyone forgets and the part that works.
8. Practical notes, if needed: dress code, parking, shuttles, whether children are welcome. If there are many notes, a separate information card beats a crowded invitation.

On language: if you have foreign guests, the elegant route is not a crowded bilingual invitation but the same invitation printed in two versions. The text breathes and everyone gets theirs.

This is the costliest mistake, and it takes a second to make: counting guests instead of envelopes.

A hundred guests are not a hundred invitations. A couple receives one envelope. A family with two grown children receives one, or two if the children live independently. For a hundred guests, actual invitations usually number between fifty and sixty.

Once you have that figure, add 10-15%. That is not vague caution, it is three concrete things:

• Mistakes writing the envelopes. It always happens, and a badly written envelope cannot be salvaged.
• Last-minute guests: the colleague who was not on the list, the rediscovered relative.
• Keepsake copies: yours, your parents', one for the album. That is three or four, and nobody counts them.

⚠️ Reprinting later costs disproportionately. Digital printing has no plates, but a second run of ten still pays for set-up: ten invitations ordered separately cost far more than ten added to the original run. Better ten extra now than ten in a hurry later.

A practical tip on envelopes: if you are addressing them by hand, ask for a few spare blanks. Handwriting tires, and by the thirtieth envelope your hand is not the one from the first.

Wedding invitations are one of the few printed things people hold and then keep: the paper is felt, and remembered.

The families to choose from:

• Ivory wove — the classic: slightly textured surface, warm tone, formal look. It suits black printing and foils.
• Fedrigoni coloured stocks — when the wedding has a palette and you want it in the envelope already.
• Recycled — visible texture, natural tone. Lovely for outdoor weddings and for anyone wanting a choice consistent with the rest.
• Coated card — if the invitation carries a photograph or a colour illustration, because it renders colour fully.

Two finishes genuinely change the object: gold or silver foil, which catches the light immediately, and embossing, which you do not see until you touch it. They cost, and they do not belong everywhere: one well-chosen touch — the names, or an initial — beats three effects together.

A warning we repeat often: paper and colour must be seen in person. Ivory on a screen and ivory in your hand are two different things, and foils simply do not exist on a monitor. That is why, before the run, there is always a digital draft and a physical proof: the proof exists precisely to prevent the sentence "I thought it was lighter".